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Constance Jean Stanley's Birth

The stats:

November 25, 1997 6:58 am
7 lbs. 10 oz.
20 inches

I had a wonderful pregnancy. I never had morning sickness. When I started taking the iron pills I became nauseous all day, so I quit taking them and only took the multi-vitamins. I gained 27 pounds. My only complaint was that I got stretch marks, but such is life. I was due on Monday, November 17th. Of course, like most pregnant women, I would have been happy to deliver by about the 3rd (not too early, just a little. J ) However, November 17th came and went. I quit working on Friday, November 14th. I was becoming really irritable with all my well-meaning, yet still incredibly annoying, co-workers. I remember crying during the first 2 weeks of November. I told my husband, "I'm so tired of holding my baby here (pointing to my belly). I want to hold my baby here (my arms)." However, I remember that by the 16th, I knew the baby would not be on time. I was born 10 days late, I figured my baby girl would take after her mother. I did a total mental turnaround and was able to relax and enjoy my last week of pregnancy.

If I could change one thing about my birth, it would be my doctor. My husband is in the military, and we are stationed in Germany, so I felt limited in my choices. I now know that no matter what, next time I will not be so foolish. Dr. Artam is a German doctor who works for the Army. While he is incredibly skilled, he wanted to deliver my baby, not assist me in birthing my child. At my 39 week appointment, he thought the baby's heart was beating irregularly. So, he ordered a non-stress test. He also did an ultrasound and told me that I had plenty of fluid and that the baby was going to be "kind of on the small side." The NST was completely normal, however Dr. Artam ordered me to come in every 3 days for another one (thank goodness I quit working that Friday.) The NSTs were always normal, and Dr. Artam did an ultrasound after each one and assured me that there was plenty of fluid, and the baby was growing, but still small. On the Friday following my due date, I came in for my NST, had an US and a cervical exam. The NST was normal, fluid was fine, and I was dilated about 1 cm. However, Dr. Artam informed me that "the baby is getting big", as in, too big. I wasn't worried. My husband always says that my body was "made for birthin' babies." You know, adequate breasts, good birthing hips. J Dr. Artam wanted me to come in on Monday (41 weeks). He told me that if I was dilated to at least a 3, he would break my water to try to get labor going. Then, if that didn't work, we would start with Pitocin. I wasn't really happy to hear this, as I wanted to avoid as many interventions as possible. But, I could consent to having my water broken, I suppose. So I went home, figuring that my baby would be born on Monday. This was kind of exciting.

Monday morning came. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions since I was about 24 weeks. I was used to them, and they weren't painful. So, when I had a cervical exam and I was still only 2+, I was not surprised (or concerned.) I figured that meant I was going home (we had my bags in the car, just in case) and that I'd be back in a couple days for another check. However, Dr. Artam, after checking my cervix and saying "2+", turned to the nurse and ordered Pitocin. He didn't ask me at all. That was the moment when I should have started running. I did freak a little. I thought we were going to start off slowly with breaking my water. When I asked him, he seemed to take it as a personal insult, i.e. I didn't trust his judgement. I trusted him (at this point) I just wanted to understand what was going to happen. He left the curtained area, telling my husband Roger (not me, however I could clearly hear him since he was just on the other side of the curtain) that I needed to get mentally prepared for this birth and to go home and come back when I was. Of course, I immediately started crying. Again, I should have just left. When Roger went to talk to him, he said that he "does not deliver babies over 1 week past due." If we didn't want to induce today, we could find ourselves another doctor. Whoa. I don't know why I didn't run away. Roger and I talked it over, and we decided that it would be ok to induce today (even though my body was screaming NO!) Roger convinced Dr. Artam that we were ready, but by this time 2 other women had come in who were in labor, so Dr. Artam told us he didn't really have time anymore and that we should come back at 6:30 the next morning. What? He won't deliver a 1 week past due baby, unless he just doesn't have the time at the moment? Whatever. I breathed a big sigh of relief, got dressed, and we left. As we walked out to the car, I had a contraction that felt different. J

We went out for lunch, then Roger took me home and went back to work. I did the laundry and talked to my girlfriend on the phone that afternoon. All afternoon I was having contractions about 10-15 minutes apart. They weren't really uncomfortable. I didn't realize at the time that "this was it." Roger came home from work, we ate dinner, and then decided to try to "induce labor" ourselves (wink, wink.) While we were...inducing...I had good, strong contractions that made me have to stop and concentrate on relaxing. We were going to go to sleep around 8:00, but we decided to time them for an hour or so. It quickly became apparent that I was having regular contractions about 3-4 minutes apart, lasting for about 1 minute. We decided we should go to the hospital. We got there at about 10:00 pm. The contractions were strong, but I was able to relax and get thru them with no problems. I was really hoping for an unmedicated birth.

When we got to the hospital, Dr. Artam was the doctor on duty. L He had me change, do a fleet's enema, start an IV, and monitor the baby (standard procedures). I was actually glad I did the enema. It wasn't too bad, and it was one thing that I didn't need to think about later. Then Dr. Artam checked my cervix. I was 3+ cm, so he told us to go for a walk down the hall while they got our room ready. We did, and by about 11:30 I was ready to sit down. About midnight, the contractions were still strong but manageable, and Dr. Artam wanted to break my water. I agreed. That was horrible. I didn't realize that it could be so uncomfortable. When the fluid came out, apparently there was meconium, so Dr. Artam put in an internal monitor (without asking). So, now I was not allowed to get up. As soon as my water was broken, the contractions came much harder. From about 1:00 to 3:00, they were about 2 minutes apart, and lasting for 1 minute. So, I had little time to recover, and I couldn't move around at all to cope with them. At 3:00 am, I knew I couldn't do anymore without help. I really feel that if I had been able to walk around, or get in some water or something that I would have been able to make it. However, I needed some pain relief now. We called the nurses, and they said they would check me first. I really thought that maybe I was in transition, since I was feeling like "I can't take this anymore!" I was "barely a 5." That was really depressing, since I was 3+ over five hours ago, and I knew then that I needed the drugs to relax. The doctor came in and gave me an intrathecal. This is a shot of medicine that they put in your spinal column, but there is no IV, just one shot. So, I curled in a ball while everyone in the room kept yelling, "Don't move!" -- I wasn't moving! This made me pretty nervous. But as soon as he was done and I lay back down, I felt relief. I could feel the next contraction, but instead of pain there was just wonderful pressure. I immediately told my poor tired husband to take a nap, and I fell asleep too. I would sleep for 30 seconds, wake up for the contraction, then after about 30 seconds fall back asleep. I did this for the next 2 hours. It was so relaxing. I could feel the contractions stretching my cervix and I could just relax and let them do the work and look forward to my little baby.

At 5:00 am the nurse came back in to check my cervix, and she told me that it was about time to push (!) She said, "When I come back we can start." I woke up Roger so he could get ready. Then I just started to "lean" on the contractions a little. It felt nice. The nurses didn't get back till about 6:00 am. They told me my bladder was full, which I couldn't sense because of the intrathecal. So, they emptied it for me. Then they put my legs in the stirrups. "Dr. Artam will only deliver you in the stirrups." I really wonder what he would have done if I had said no. Would he have left? What a joke. I didn't complain, though, since I was so excited about pushing. We started, and it was really kind of fun. She was coming down my birth canal steadily. Around 6:30 Dr. Artam got there. He laid out the scissors for the episiotomy, and I told him that I did not want an episiotomy. He said, "We'll see." I said, "No, I DO NOT want an episiotomy. I would rather risk a tear." Fortunately I had discussed this with my husband earlier. So, when Dr. Artam screamed out "It's not going to fit!" (how encouraging!) and reached for the scissors, my husband practically grabbed his hand and said, "NO!" My dear, sweet husband. The nurses had jokingly told me they wanted the baby born before 7:00 am (the end of their shift) and at 6:55, I didn't think it was going to happen, but then on the next contraction, she crowned and immediately I pushed her head out. I wish I had not been listening to the "Push, Push, Push!" nurses, because I did tear some since I pushed her out so fast. It burned when she came out, but not too bad. Roger said when her head was born, it was all green from the meconium. So, once her body slipped out and after Roger cut the cord, they took her to the warmer to clean her up instead of giving her to me immediately as I would have liked. At some point someone slipped some Pitocin into my IV (without asking) so the delivery of the placenta was really quick and not too painful. I had to have quite a few stitches, but I healed very easily. I am very glad I did not have the episiotomy. While Dr. Artam stitched me up, I became pretty weepy and whiny ("Why can't I have my baby?"), but Connie was finally handed to me at 7:20, 22 minutes old. We tried nursing, but she wasn't really into it right then, so we just looked dreamily at each other instead. She was (and is) perfect.

Today my little sweetheart is 5 1/2 months old. She is exclusively breastfed and doing wonderfully. I am very happy with her birth, but next time I will do things differently. I would love to give birth at home, but I don't think we are quite brave enough for that. I will, however, choose my birth attendant more carefully. I will definitely find one who is against interventions instead of a doctor who wants to control my body. I also think I will try to labor longer at home. And I plan to have a doula who will be able to help me find ways to stay in control of the pain. My husband was a great support, but he just didn't know what to do. I know that because of the circumstances I needed the pain medication, but I wish I hadn't needed it. I was quite groggy the rest of the day (in fact, I don't really remember what happened from 8:00 am to 12 pm.) Also, I couldn't sense when my bladder was full, so I needed to have a catheter for 24 hours.

My advice to any pregnant women is to do all that you can to make sure you have the birth you want. Giving birth was the most exciting, hardest, worthwhile, wonderful thing I have ever done. Next time I will be even more prepared. J

Shelly Stanley