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Sandra's Birth

I was 21, unmarried, and very scared when I found out I was pregnant with Sandra. I was living with my boyfriend at his parents' home, and we had already been told numerous times that if I got pregnant, we were out on our own. So, less than 6 months later, I was a nervous wreck. I found out on my 21st birthday that I was pregnant (I missed my period, and I'm as regular as clockwork). I managed to hide it from my bf's family for about 4 months, but then his sister overheard us talking about the baby one night and told his mom. She was cool about it, though disappointed. She did not tell my bf's dad, thank goodness. At about 5 months along, we found a nice one bedroom studio apartment and moved out on our own. We had decided that we weren't going to get married right away, but our families pushed us into it. Just 12 days before the baby came, we were married in a friend's living room.

All along, I had planned to have a totally natural birth. I had done SO much reading throughout my pregnancy, and I wanted everything to be perfect. I was on Medicaid, though, and the care I got was nothing short of second rate (with the exception of my CNM, who was wonderful).

It was summer, and we'd had a month of 106 degree days. Our little room had no air conditioning, so sleep was almost impossible until around 1 am. That was when we typically went to bed. I was getting up to go to the bathroom every 2 hours like clockwork by that point since my due date was just days away. Around 3 am on July 24, 1995, I had gone to the bathroom as usual and went back to bed. My husband rolled over and put his arm around me. I felt (and heard) a tiny pop and a warm trickle of liquid. I waited a moment to see if I felt it again, and sure enough, there came another trickle. So, I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. By the time I got to the bathroom, I was standing in a huge puddle and fluid, and I knew my water had broken. Oddly enough, I stayed very calm. I just cleaned myself up as much as I could and asked my husband if he wanted to go to work that day. He said no, then asked why. I told him my water had broken, and he went berzerk! We already had everything packed, so I called my doctor who told me to go straight to the hospital (30+ minutes away). I hadn't started having pains at all yet, so I took my time. A word to the wise... EAT before you go!! I didn't, and I will always regret it.

The pains starting coming slowly and lightly as we neared the hospital. I checked in and they wheeled me up to labor and delivery. I had a really rude nurse who refused to believe that my water had broken. She came right out and told me that she didn't believe me and would have to test me. Never mind that I had experienced two huge gushes already and probably didn't have much left to test! She made me walk for an hour with a piece of litmus paper on a pad. She said, IF it turned blue, then I'd be admitted. Well, about 45 minutes into that, the pain was so bad I couldn't walk anymore. Sure enough, the litmus paper was a very bright blue. Even then, though, that nurse was rude to us. She treated me like dirt, and I really believe it's because we were on welfare at the time. Nevermind that I waited until I was in my 26th week to even seek medical attention so that I wouldn't cost the taxpayers any more money than absolutely necessary. I TRIED to get a job, but no one would hire someone who was 5 months pregnant. Anyway, they forced me to lie down in bed with monitors on constantly. I didn't know that I had a choice, so I let them do it. Things progressed quickly from there, and they were all saying the baby would be here by noon. This was around 6 am. By 9am, I was at 7cm (I checked in at 3cm around 4am). That's when everything stopped.

The doctor said that I have an anterior lip on my cervix, and that it would not allow me to dilate fully. Without even asking me, they started the pitocin drip and gave me nubain "to take the edge off". Great, all it did was make me sleep between contractions, but they hurt just as bad when they did hit. Worse yet, the nubain slowed me down to a strong contraction every minute or less to less than one every 5 minutes! I labored hard and slow from then on. Around 4 or 4:30 pm, I'd had enough of it. I was finally up to 9.5 cm, which is as far as they thought I'd ever get on my own, so I started to bear down. I'm not really sure if I felt like I needed to or not, but I was going to do anything I could to get that baby out of me. I was tired, hungry, scared, in pain, and I didn't care what happened to me anymore. I pushed for about 2 hours with my mom holding one leg and my mother in law holding the other (I think I'll use stirrups next time, btw) almost flat on my back. I was using the monitor to tell me when I was having a contraction, because all I felt was steady pain. The CNM, bless her heart, tried and tried to avoid an episiotomy. She massaged and massaged until she was blue in the face, but I just couldn't get her head through that size opening, so SHE finally conceded to an episiotomy (I didn't care anymore). Just a shot of lidocaine and a nick here and there with the scalpel, and my daughter's head was born. Just two more contractions later, and she was in this world safe and sound.

Sandra was born very pink, and not really all that wrinkly like you'd expect. I wonder since I waited so long to get medical attention if my due date was wrong. It doesn't matter. She's healthy, and she'll be 3 years old next month (July 24). Now, I'm expecting child number 2 in February 1999, and I know a lot more. I KNOW I have choices, I KNOW I'm in control of my body, and I KNOW how I should be treated. I do have a steady job now working for AT&T, and I have excellent health coverage, so I'm interested to see if that changes how I'm treated by the nurses.

Sandra can't wait to be a big sister. Chances are that we're having a girl (I have 5 nieces and no nephews), but at this point, I just want a healthy baby. I'm not so opposed to medication this time around, but I DO want to be in control of what I get and when I get it. I'm enjoying this pregnancy more, since it was planned, and it's nice to be surrounded by supportive people instead of hiding my 'accident' from them. Sandra may have been an accident, but she was no mistake. No child is a mistake. I can't imagine my life without my precious daughter, and I can't wait to see what joys my second child brings to this family.