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Kelley's Birth

Here is our birth story...and if there's one thing pregnancy has taught me, it's that no one can really know what's going to happen and to expect the unexpected!

My midwife was pretty certain that I would go into labor before my due date of April 11th. I was absolutely HUGE, the baby's head was already engaged and I was having lots of pre labor contractions. So we were anticipating labor starting at any time, and the more days that passed without anything happening, the more depressed I was getting. Not to mention all the incredibly rude comments well-meaning people were saying to me (you know the kind - "When are you ever going to have that baby?" and "My God, you must be miserable!")

To add to our stress, Kevin's dad was on his way home from their winter stay in Florida when he had to be admitted to the hospital. First the doctors didn't think he would make it, the next minute he was improved enough to come home - it kept going back and forth for two weeks. And, we couldn't go down to see him because of the birth being so near. Kevin's dad kept asking if the baby had been born yet, and he made a comment about "one coming in and one going out."

On April 14th, we decided to get out of the house and do some shopping in a nearby city for a change of scenery. Just as we were entering the mall, a lady spotted my huge tummy and called out, "You look just beautiful, honey." Maybe it was the kind words, but when I made a visit to the rest room moments later, I lost my mucus plug. I was so happy - things were finally starting to happen!!!

The rest of the day I had contractions, nice and regular but not really getting stronger or closer together. My contractions continued that evening. They became strong enough to wake me from sleep, so around midnight I got up to time them. They were still fairly far apart (from 7 to 10 minutes) and I decided to return to bed. No sooner had I crawled back under the covers when the phone rang. It was my sister-in-law calling to let us know that Kevin's dad had passed away. Needless to say, we were up and unable to sleep for the rest of the night. I knew right then and there that our baby would be born that day.

By 7:00am I was still having contractions that seemed be stronger and I asked Kevin to call one of our friends to help move our bed upstairs. Our apartment is in the lower level of our martial arts school, but all our bathroom facilities are on the main floor and the midwife told us no stairs for four days after the birth. We decided to move our bed up to our workout room and just camp out upstairs for a week.

My husband was an absolute wreck the whole day - not only was he dealing with the loss of his dad and the anticipation of his child's birth, but he had a client with a computer problem (he does computer work on the side) on tax day who absolutely had to have her computer fixed that day!!! I told him to go ahead and go get the parts he needed (a 45 minute drive each way!) and just call and check on me every once in awhile. In the meantime, I got out all our birthing supplies and fixed the bed with blue pads.

By noon my contractions were about 5 min. apart and getting more intense. I decided to call the midwife and tell her what was going on. She said to just keep timing them and let her know when they were about 2 min. apart. The baby was still in a posterior position and I was having lots of back labor. Squatting seemed to help relieve most of the discomfort. I walked around the workout room a lot, squatting or sitting Indian-style during contractions. Whenever I got too tired, I lay on my side on the bed. Milo, our cat, must have sensed what was going on because whenever I lay down on the bed, he came and basically plastered himself up against my lower back!!!

It was peaceful laboring by myself during the day, but when Kevin arrived back home around 3:30, I knew I didn't want him to leave again! I hadn't timed my contractions in awhile and when we did, we discovered they were about 2 min. apart and they were taking all my concentration to get through. During my second birth, I had gone all the way through transition without realizing it, and I was very uncertain how far along I was this time, so we called Lynda, our midwife, and told her to come over. She asked if we had started filling the birthing pool yet and of course, we hadn't even begun setting it up!!!

The birthing pool loaned to us by Lynda was a kid's inflatable pool, about 2 ft deep and 10 ft across. Kevin thought we'd be able to inflate it using a tire pump, but by the time the midwife arrived about 5:00pm, only one ring was inflated. Lynda and I talked about not knowing exactly where I was in the labor and although she doesn't normally do pelvic exams, we decided to check and see how far along I was. Much to my relief, I was 7-8 cm. Kevin frantically drove to Wal-Mart to buy an air compressor to finish inflating the pool while Lynda started filling it by hose with warm water.(The midwife suggested we use the pool because we were expecting a large baby and the warmth from the water would be good for the perineum. Plus, I had done a lot of reading about water birth and wanted to experience it first hand.)

The pool was only a few inches deep when I began eyeing it longingly! By the time Lynda's two apprentices arrived, I was ready to get in. I cannot describe to you unless you've experienced it yourself how comforting that warm water felt during contractions! Everyone took turns pouring it over my abdomen and lower back. The deeper the water got the more I could relax and try different positions. But that's when I discovered that I had made a mistake - I had neglected to eat anything most of the day, and combined with my being up the night before, I was losing energy quickly in the warm water. Fortunately, I had made some Gatorade ice cubes and a quick drink of juice helped restore me.

I moved between the pool, squatting while being held by Kevin and lying on my side on the bed for the next hour while I waited for the urge to push (something I never really felt with my first two, I think because of the posterior position.) Lynda suggested that breaking my water might help me to feel like pushing, so after the next contraction we did that. I tried a few pushes, but with no real results. Lynda said I had a small lip left on the cervix - she could try pushing it back during the next contraction, or we could wait a while and it should disappear on its own. I opted to wait, so I breathed through the next several contractions (not easy, as I soon realized that tremendous feeling of rectal pressure was what my body experienced as "the urge to push"!!!!

Finally, Lynda told me to go ahead and try pushing with the next contraction. I got on a hands and knees position on the bed to push for awhile, and after a few pushes, we moved to the pool for the birth. My contractions were really coming one on top of the other at this point, and I pushed while leaning over the side of the pool. It's so strange at this point - I felt like two totally different people. There was one of me who was awash with these primal, birthing instincts; flooded with the awesome power of childbirth, completely surrendered to the power of my body and then there was the calm, analytical me who was completely detached and making observations of myself and everyone!!!

After several pushes, I felt the familar burning sensation and heard Lynda telling me I could reach down and feel the head. I will never forget that moment as I reached down in the water and felt that warm, wrinkled head and knew in just a few moments I would hold my baby in my arms! Now I flipped over; Jerren (one of the apprentices) jumped in behind me and supported me while I floated in the water. Lynda and Kevin (who was going to catch the baby) also got in and with one more push, the baby's head was born...along with her right hand! Lynda had me stop pushing as she needed to release the hand so the rest of the baby could be born. As soon as she pulled the hand out, the rest of the baby flew out! (She was born at 10:09pm.) Kevin and Lynda brought her up out of the water to place her on my chest and we discovered she had a short cord - she only reached to my stomach!!!

The baby was much smaller than we expected and covered in vernix; she looked like she had been dipped in Crisco!! Lynda thought she was probably a week early. We quickly covered her with a towel. She didn't breathe at first. I think because of the water she didn't even realize she had been born! We rubbed her and Lynda suctioned out lots of mucus and she cried just a bit and began to pink up while we waited for the cord to stop pulsating. Kevin had purchased a tanto knife to cut the cord with (we plan to hand it down to her when she is older!) and I had to hold very still through a contraction while he performed the "ceremony"! The placenta was very large, almost as large as the baby and it took me several pushed to deliver it.

After I climbed out of the pool and dried off, I was able to climb into bed and nurse my new daughter. She wasn't the least interested, however, and really cried hard as I held her. Lynda thought her arm might be sore because of the birth so she decided to go ahead and do the newborn exam right then. She checked her spine and said, yes, something was not in alignment, but she held her up feet first and ran a finger down her back and whatever was out of place popped back in! The crying stopped immediately and we haven't had any other problems with it. How unbelievably calming and reassuring it is to give birth at home!

I was up and walking to my own bathroom, no tears or stitches, and able to snuggle into my own bed with my husband and new daughter. We named her Kelley Lynne, and she has the same middle name as my husband and I! As my midwife says, "Home Made, Home Grown, Home Birthed."

I have to say I am (almost) glad that we had some minor abnormalities at this birth, such as the head and hand and the short cord - this just proves to me that an experienced midwife can make all the difference in turning these "abnormal" events into a normal birth. I wonder what complications these would have caused in a hospital setting???

Hope this isn't too long, but it's hard not to abbreviate something that's so close to your heart!

In Light,
Cathy