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Week by Week

Baby Girl Welfer

I went into the hospital at 1pm on a Monday to be induced because I was almost 43 weeks pregnant but didn't end up having my baby until Wednesday at 9:30pm. All of which was something my husband and I were not prepared for.

Beginning at 1pm the doctors decided to gel my cervix because there was no sign that I would be going into labor anytime soon. After 2 hours still no change so they decided to try this little pill placed on my cervix and check me in another two hours. Well two hours passed, the pill seemed to beginning to get things rolling so they put another half of this pill on my cervix and would be back later to check on me. Once again things looked good and they were optimistic on the baby arriving in a few hours.

Then everything stopped.

Did I mention they told me early in my pregnancy that I could only push out a 9 pound baby and for the record, they were predicting this one was about 8 pounds. We'll get back to that later...

At about midnight they told me I could go home and come back at 5 am. We decided to stay so I could be monitored and we could work at this labor thing.

At about 5 am they hooked me up to the Pitocin and from here I began to lose track of time. The Pitocin seemed to be working. It would work for a half hour then my body seemed to ignore it. I was up to the maximum dosage and they were keeping a close eye on the baby's heart rate. Soon I opted for the Epidural, the doctors said only a few more hours. A few hours later they said once again, only a few more hours. By this time my contractions were hard and I was dialated 5 cm. Then my water broke and my dialation actually went back down to 3 cm. Soon I had an Epidural in my back(something I had hoped not to get originally), a cathider(sp?)you know where, a monitor attatched to my baby's head, another monitor that the docotrs couldn't get to work right in along my cervix to read the strength of my contractions and an I.V. that took three times of jabbing to work, oh and that annoying blood pressure band that automatically goes on every ten minutes. By this time I had not eaten anything for 2 days except for ice pops and ice chips, barely slept, my husband looked like a zombie and we were both exhausted.

After 20 hours had passed with my water being broke and being fully effaced and dialated 9 1/2 cm. the doctors suggested an emergency c-section. After some tears and prayers we knew there were no other options.

Here is where I begin to cry. They took my husband away to scrub up and I felt like I wasn't going to ever see him again. They shaved my belly and suddenly there were quite a few people in the room. People asking me to sign some papers, people asking all sorts of questions to me and everyone around me. They made me lay on my back to move me to another table and I about vomited from the pressure. As I was being wheeled to the operating room I felt so alone and scared. Once again they rolled me on my back and the nausea overwhelmed me. As I lay there completly naked surrounded by strangers, about ready to throw up I searched for my husband. I felt a rush of relief when I heard him come in the room. I will never forget the look on his face, the look of helplessness.

While 6 or so people flopped my body onto the operating table I new I was going to lose it and threw up in a little pan, right infront of my husband's face while laying on my back.

Soon a doctor was asking me if I could feel a cotton ball that was dipped in alcohol running over my body. He told me the operation would feel like someone sitting on my stomach, just a lot of pressure.

As I layed there with my arms stretched out to each side of me I was thinking of hearing my baby's first cry, the joy of hearing the first breath of life, and holding her as soon as possible.

The incision I didn't feel but as they pulled my skin and muscles back I felt pain and cried out that I felt hurting! So they quickly pumped in some pain killers and I began to shake and shiver from one finger tip through my head over to my other finger tips uncontrollably. I began to vomit again. I then began to see all white and thought my eyes were shut so I tried to blink them, or open them but they were open. All I could hear was my husbands cracking, tearful voice telling me I am doing good and to hang in there as he held my hand.

After what seemed to be forever I heard them say "here she comes", but there was no cry. My husband said "we have a baby girl!", and then they took her away. No crying was heard, just doctors voices speaking a language unfamiliar to me. My 11 pound 2 ounce baby girl aspirated meconium and was taken to the NICU to avoid Pnenomia.

With high hopes of breastfeeding I didn't get to hold my baby until 2 days later.

Recovering was really tough. I stayed in the hospital until Sunday and was taking pain killers every 5 hours. I couldn't sleep(if you want to call it sleep) on our bed for 3 weeks. I had lost my appetite and really felt disconnected from my new baby. I felt as though I didn't get to experience what I had prepared myself for during my entire pregnancy. I was depressed thinking that there was something wrong with me that I couldn't have a baby naturally and that I went against everything I had hoped for.

But 12 weeks have passed and I am doing much better. I have finally just begun to feel good enough to get out and walk. I am still however frightened to have another baby anytime soon. I am really hoping that when that time does arrive, God willing, that I will get to experience childbirth naturally.

I wrote this to educate and to get out all these fears I have trapped inside me. My biggest mistake was assuming I wouldn't have a C-section so I didn't educate myself and therefore was really ignorant on what to expect and how to handle any and all aspects of the experience. Thank you for listening, Chrissy Welfer