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Benjamin's & Montana's Birth
Two small / big miracles:
Benjaminšs & Montanašs Birth
(twins, homebirth, full term, midwives, 3 hours total labor &
deliveries, birthweights 8.11 lbs. & 6.3 lbs.)
We found out on Spring Solstice day, March 21, 1995, our daughter
Robin's second birthday: WE WERE PREGNANT! How exciting! I knew
exactly when it had happened, a very special, loving, beautiful,
romantic evening, and I remember thinking it would be the perfect
time for some little soul to choose us. And, as we found out 20 weeks
later, not only for one little soul. I had decided to do an ultrasound
after this intuitive feeling, and sure enough, there they were: two
babies, perfectly developed, the left one head down, the right one in
breech position. We were thrilled! And so was every one of our
friends, family, and our midwives, who also were comfortable with our
plan to still have a homebirth. I loved being pregnant. Having these
little growing miracles inside me, three souls, three heart beats,
three in one body - just too fascinating!
In the next few months I started reading about twinbirths, but all
books, except of one, Elisabeth Noble's "Having Twins", stressed the
complications, the danger, the high rate of ceasarians, and the fact
that most twin babies come early, are too small, bla, bla .... They
were all rather focused on what could go wrong. So I stopped reading
anything else, and concentrated on the positive attitute in Elisabeth
Noble's book.
I started picturing myself in our beautiful sunroom, in the birthing
pool, having maybe around 6 hours of labour, followed by a wonderful
waterbirth, then getting out of the tub and birthing the second baby
soon after. I picked a due date in my 40th week, November 22nd, a new
moon, and casp day scorpio (my partner Ted's sign) - sagitarius (my
sign), and told everyone that I would have the babies on that day,
preferably in the afternoon. As my due date was getting closer and
closer I kept being amazed how easy everything was going. I had
expected to feel at least some discomfort, (like feeling too heavy,
getting back pains or something) but there was hardly anything to
complain about at all.
On the 22nd we were ready. I felt so prepared for having our babies
that day (in the afternoon, remember?). We had done a sweetgrass
ceremony, the house was clean and tidy (and everyone who knows us
knows that this is very unusual) , we had done some cozy get-it-going
thingies, our birth supplies (essential oils, some good tapes, Bach
flowers, candles, cushions, towels, and the birth bag from the
midwives) were in place, the champagne was in the fridge, even the
lasagne to feed the midwives was thawed! Well, then I passed my
chosen due date!! So I learned my lesson: Our babies have their own
head, and come when they are ready, not when I want them to. And I was
fine with that, (maybe the house was too clean for them?).
36 hours later, at 1:00 am (yes, clocks can become meditation objects
when you are starting labour) on November 24th, I woke up with a mild
contraction. Definitly not a Braxton Hicks, so I went to the washroom
to check for more exciting signs. And there was the pink show and the
diarrhea. I woke Ted up, and we timed the contractions, they were 10
minutes apart and around a minute long. We phoned our friend Teri,
support person for Robin, and Barbara, our midwife, at 1:30 am.
Barbara told us to phone back whenever labour picks up or we want her
to come. Okay. I went to the washroom again, and was hit by this huge,
powerful, strong, long contraction, that nearly threw me off the
toilet! I remember pushing my hands as hard as I could against the
wall in front of me. There it was: I suddenly knew again how it felt
being in labour. How could I have forgotten?? I told Ted to call
Barbara back after I had another one like that. Yes, a hot bath was a
good idea. Contractions really hit me hard but I felt quite under
control. I was sitting in my bathtub in our tiny bathroom, picturing
this huge wave, and me going with it. After the piek of each
contraction I would slowly roll off the wave. Worked great! Teri and
Barbara arrived, and Robin woke up. Barbara brought the birthing pool,
but didn't have the electric pump, so she phoned our second midwife
Noreen for it, and informed the other two midwives, Wendy and Kerstin,
to come. I suddenly got this very clear feeling there was no way we
would get the pool ready in time. Just about when Kerstin and Noreen
arrived at around 3:25 a.m. I had to change my position from sitting
to hands and knees, and got this completely unresistable urge to
push. And so I did, trusting my body, not listening to my brain
telling me that it must be far too early to push (we hadnšt done any
checking). But I really, really couldnšt help it anyways.
It was a long, hard, powerful, loud push, that brought the baby down
to just an inch from being born! Wow!
Then a break.
Greeting the midwives
laughing
talking
no pain at all.
And another long, hard, powerful, very loud push
like an explosion
like thunder
and lightening
at the same time
- and I pushed the baby out at once.
I just couldnšt believe it. 3:30 a.m. ! It had been so fast, so
intense, so perfect! In my arms I was holding a screaming, large, pink
boy (and I was convinced this one was a girl!). I sat down and held
him, cleaned him, welcomed him, before Ted and Robin cut the cord and
we got out of the water.
Now we went into the "birthing room" , where the candles were still
burning. I was so happy to be in the middle of my birth experience,
knowing that it would be just a short time until I could hold my
second child, until everything would be over, (that is one of the many
good things about having two babies. You know that you won't have
hours and hours to go, once you got the first one out). I felt
powerful and not one bit anxious about the second birth. Everything
felt so right and good.
We were waiting for contractions to come back, and I was playing with
that half empty belly of mine. I then tried pushing without
contraction, which was very hard and did not seem to work well.
Everyone seemed relaxed, there was no rush. Wendy arrived. Everyone in
the room seemed to find their way of being involved in the birth, and
everyone was amazing. Ted was holding Benjamin Finn, our new son, who
was snuggled into a warm towel. Kerstin filmed, Teri filmed and / or
looked after Robin; Robin was on and off the bed, quietly observing,
and just being with me; Noreen was sitting on the birthing ball behind
me and supported my squatting or standing (what a job! I had all my
weight on her); Wendy brought water, wiped my face with a cold
washcloth, and gave me Rescue Remedy drops just when I needed them,
and Barbara did everything from checking where things were at,
listening to the baby's heartbeat, suggesting various positions, to
giving me verbal support. After we tried all kinds of positions and
the waterbag just would not brake we decided to help it a bit. Then
Barbara checked and ... felt little wiggleing toes instead of the
expected head (This was the "left" baby, that had been head down on
the first and only ultrasound). What a surprise! We all laughed and
joked about the second ultrasound we had not done, and were happy
that we hadnšt. Then everything went very fast. One push got the
little crossed over feet out. I touched them, thinking how tiny they
were,
then one big great push and
I birthed my baby,
just like in the poem that hangs on my wall:
... an ancient river of blood
will flow on through me,
when it comes time to see my child free;
just like a river that opens to the sea,
I am gonna let my child flow right out of me...
My second baby, Montana Geraldine, also said Hello to this world with
a loud scream. She seemed so petite, a beautiful little, strong
creature.
It was 4:07 am.
I still can't believe how fast everything was over. Our family had
grown from three to five in just 3 hours . Thats how fast your whole
life can change!
There I was, holding and nursing two perfect little babies in my arms,
surrounded by loving, wonderful people and candle light - I donšt
really have the right words to describe these minutes, but they surely
were incredible!
After the placenta had been born (actually they were two placentas, a
big one with a thick cord and a smaller one with a thinner cord, grown
together) I and my babies, one at a time, took a relaxing, warm bath.
Our next surprise came when they got weighed. Montana was 6 lbs.3 oz.
and Benjamin was 8 lbs.11 oz. Wow! I had carried nearly 15 lbs.
The whole birth experience was amazing, but the most moving moment for
me came afterwards, a moment I never gonna forget, and it still brings
tears into my eyes thinking of it: I needed some stitches and every
grown up was busy holding babies, the lamp, my hand, or the needle
(brrrr!). My intuitive, little daughter Robin came onto the bed, sat
right beside my head, and started singing for me: Twinkle, twinkle,
Little Star...We sang and hummed together until everything was done,
and it had been so exactly what I needed at that time. Thank you so
much, my Love Robin.
My deepest thanks also to my partner Ted, and my midwives and good
friends Barbara Scriver, Noreen Walker, Wendy Lester, Kerstin
Flanaghan, and Teri Clarke.
Gudrun von Selzam
P.S. Some people commented on Robin's birth story (Birth Issues Fall
95) that they could really feel my pain and difficulties when they
read it, and felt that often home birth stories seemed to sound too
darn positive. Well, if this one does, it must be the high I am in, or
it really was just darn positive!
gudrunvs@shaw.ca
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