I spent
much of my youth around animals, and had witnessed the birth of
one colt, three litters of puppies and countless kittens. Why
birth would be any more complicated for humans was completely
beyond me. When I found out I was pregnant, there was no question
that I would be having my baby without medical interference.
All of my
co-workers thought I was insane. They would ask what vitamins I
was taking, what tests I had had, if the ultrasound had revealed
the sex of my baby. Upon learning that I had not taken any
medicines, tests, or ultrasounds I was treated as though I were
doing my baby harm. Surely if there were a neo-natal social
services program, my co-workers would have called. After awhile I
got tired of the stigma. Since I was going to be a stay-at-home
mother after the baby anyhow, I quit my management position and
found another job stocking shelves overnight at a department
store. I did not appear to be pregnant, so I was treated like any
other employee. I kept my happy news to myself.
At 8.5
months I gave my 2 weeks notice. My boss was floored at the news
that I was expecting. I actually had to pull my shirt tight
around my belly so he could see the kicking and squirming
underneath. Of course, by amazing coincidence, that night I was
transferred from stocking shelves to shrink-wrapping opened
packages on a stool.
Two weeks
went by and the baby didnt appear right on schedule.
Apparently, I forgot to swallow a calendar. This caused me no
distress. I told my boss I could continue doing his menial jobs
until an undisclosed date. And this is when the Question began
bouncing off the walls: "When are you going to be
induced?" Never has a single well-intended question
infuriated me so much. I told everyone, in increasingly annoyed
words, that there was no way I was going to be induced, thank you
very much. Once again, all my co-workers were looking at me as if
I were the most evil mother-to-be in the world. One week after my
due date, I plead back pain and left work early. I never bothered
going back.
Two more
weeks passed with increasing back pain but nothing else. I had
been dilated slightly for several weeks and the head was so well
engaged that I bumped into it each time I wiped. I waddled around
like a penguin for awhile, but finally got tired of trying and
spent all my time on the computer.
One
morning three weeks past my due date I woke up at 4:00 am for one
of my 2 dozen nightly trips to the bathroom. I went and came back
to bed and then realized with shame that I was wetting myself.
Went back to the bathroom, put on a pad and went back to bed. I
had spent the last 6 weeks eagerly trying to convince myself that
anything and everything was a sign of impending labor, but
ironically I failed to recognize that I was actually losing my
mucous plug. Had I been more awake Im sure that
wouldnt have been the case.
I went
back to bed and woke up 45 minutes later to head for the
bathroom. This time there was no doubt, Today was The Day. I was
losing my mucous plug very quickly. Eric was still asleep and I
wanted to have this time to myself, so I didnt wake him.
Since I felt constantly dirty I decided to sit in the tub. I drew
a nice hot bath, found some light reading (Calvin and Hobbes
comic books to be exact) and settled back in the tub.
I sat in
that tub for about two hours. Contractions had started, and I was
enjoying the powerful process that was taking over my body.
Eventually as the contractions grew stronger and more frequent I
put my books down and lay down in the shallow water with my head
on the bath pillow. I dozed between contractions and practiced my
own biofeedback methods through contractions. I can honestly say
that I dont remember any pain, just power.
Then all
of a sudden, transition. I recognized it as transition although I
had never had a baby, because suddenly I was feeling very
uncertain and nervous. I hadnt expected anything like this
for quite awhile. That is when I realized I had lost all track of
time. I had been dozing for hours. There were no windows in the
bathroom and I had no clock. I wrapped up in a towel and went
into the bedroom. It was 11:20am. I had been in the bathtub for
more than five hours.
I
hadnt spoken to Eric yet but he obviously knew what was
going on. As I entered the room he was holding the phone and his
fingers were hovering over the buttons. I nodded for him to call
the midwife.
This is
where I admit I made a mistake. I should have called earlier. I
described the contractions and told her that I could feel the sac
with my fingers when I squatted, bulging against my perineum. She
told me that she didnt think she would make it. We were to
meet her at the hospital.
Well, we
headed for the hospital, which is 3 highway miles away, and
arrived at 11:55. I walked into the emergency room and waited as
patiently as a laboring woman can for my turn to check in. You
see, the receptionist was having a nice chat with the security
guard. I then told her I was in labor, at which point she handed
me some forms to fill out. I tried to explain that I didnt
think I had time for the forms, but upon hearing that she
determined that I was being a nuisance and began rolling her eyes
at my insistence that I be taken seriously. She told me to have a
seat and wait for my turn to be worked up by the nurse. I instead
ran for the bathroom.
I made
four or five trips to the bathroom while waiting for someone to
get around to me, all in the space of about four minutes. I felt
as though I had to urinate constantly. After trip #4 or 5 one
nurse finally asked me about this need to pee
then, seeing
that time was short, she decided to
..take my blood
pressure. It was as she was strapping the cuff onto my arm that
my water broke, and I began leaking fluid on her padded chair.
She gave me an exasperated look then directed me to a wheelchair
to be carted off to L&D.
Two
elevators and countless hallways later I was deposited into a
room. A new nurse came in to take my history. I told her that a
midwife was on the way that knew my history and birth preferences
she informed me that we could not proceed without a history. Oh
really? Tell that to my uterus. A team of L&D nurses started
prepping me. They gave me a gown and directed me to the bathroom,
then told me to hop on the table when I was done. I went to the
bathroom, but when I came out nobody but Eric was in the room. I
tried to remain calm but at this point, I could not help but bear
down with contractions. I told Eric to go get me a doctor.
Before he
could reach the door, I was hit with a very large contraction
that I started with a grunt and ended with a howl. It had finally
dawned on me that howling was the only way I was going to get any
attention.
Sure
enough, I was finally examined. And the verdict on my very first
internal (if you can call bulging baby head an internal) was
"its baby time." Everyone sprung into action. I
was strapped to the table on my back, was asked about my
circumcision choices in case of a boy, asked about allergies,
blood type, complications. Finally, lo and behold, a doctor. She
introduced herself and I made two requests of her: Dont cut
me, and dont cut the cord until the baby is breathing. She
gave me an "Im the doctor" speech and assumed her
position.
The second
contraction hit. This time I was given some real sound medical
advice: Push. Well, I pushed, but apparently the doctor was
unimpressed with my efforts. She told me that if the babys
head wasnt born with the next push shes be giving me
an episiotomy. Apparently her patience runs two minutes long,
because this is about how long she had been in the room.
The third
contraction hit. I received more sound medical advice: Breathe.
The nurse who was chanting this mantra over and over finally got
on my last nerve, so I opened my mouth real wide, sucked in a lot
of air, and bellowed, "I AM BREATHING!!!". She turned
away muttering at how impossible I was being. I got back to
pushing.
Unfortunately
baby wasnt born with my third push, so at some point
between push 3 and 4 I received the episiotomy I specifically
requested not to have. I never felt it and didnt know about
it until later. I assume the doctor was cutting me while
threatening me once again. She said I had one more push before
she wrapped forceps around my babys head and started
yanking.
My fourth
contraction hit, and I pushed with everything in me. This time,
my babys head was thankfully born. Not wanting to waste any
more time on me, they pulled the rest of the baby out and, before
the feet had cleared the birth canal they clamped the cord. To
this day I wonder if the doctor clamped it just to spite me. At
any rate, my baby hadnt had a chance to learn how to
breathe, so they took him to a table and began slapping him
around absent-mindedly. I held out my arms for him, but at this
point a nurse was installing a hand IV into me. No sooner was it
in than I was drugged slightly. The doctor had decided not to
wait for the placenta, she was going to go fishing. While she was
removing the afterbirth she gave me a speech on the evils of
natural childbirth, of which I only vaguely remember because I
was both drugged and begging for someone to let me hold my baby.
It was 12:43
I had been at the hospital 48 minutes.
It was at
this point, however, that I did get to see the most beautiful
thing I had ever witnessed. Eric was the first one to hold our
son. All through my pregnancy, the baby had remained a rather
abstract concept for Eric. I never looked pregnant, we never had
ultrasound pictures or a sex to assign to the baby. It was as he
held his son for the first time that my whole nine months of
excitement hit him all at once. His knees buckled under the
staggering realization that he had just become a daddy.
Well, I
was stitched up (I felt every stitch although the doctor
stitching me insisted that it wasnt possible), then put in
a wheelchair to be transported to a room. I passed out in the
wheelchair due to the blood loss from the episiotomy. I woke up
later in the hospital bed. I had not held my son yet. I stayed in
the hospital for two days, during which the extent of my medical
treatment was two units of blood transfused. Edrik was a
perfectly healthy baby despite my prenatal
"negligence". He weighed 7 pounds 3 ounces and was 21
inches long.
All in all
I had a beautiful labor, and I feel that had I not gone to the
hospital I would have been very happy with the whole birth. Those
last few minutes felt like a violation of nature. I had two
complications, both precipitated by medical intervention: my
blood loss due to the episiotomy, and Edriks resuscitation
due to being cut off from his oxygen supply before learning how
to breathe. If theres a next time, it will be at home
even if I have to catch the baby myself.
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Hills/8348